Story of My Life
by Mi-chan's Soundless Voice
Summary: He believed that he had a hard life. He believed that he was different from everybody else. But, it all changed when... (WARNING: Yaoi, KaZe pairing)


**A/N: This is my first story which is in 'character's point of view'. I appreciate everyone supporting me in my other stories and hopefully in this one. You guys are awesome.**

**Title: "Story of My Life"**

**Pairing: later on will have Kaname&Zero**

**WARNINGS****: Yaoi, _Ichiru's the older brother_ here, twists and turns, rating may change, NOT a song fic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight, Matsuri Hino does.**

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy my how-manieth story. I think it's the 4th or 5th though. I really hope that you guys will find this 'longer chapped' story interesting and what not. If there are any grammatical errors, spelling errors, or whatever seems as not right in the field of writing or whatever it's called, please leave it be, and I apologize for them. I've only been writing a few times a year so... yeah. My writing skills might be a bit rusty.**

******Anyways, on with the story ne?**

******ENJOY~!**

******P.S.**

******I'll only be able to update this story _at least once a year_ maybe. With all the busy schedules piled up and my other stories that are shorter than this one, well, I might as well end up in my own chaos no? But any who, keyword: at least once a year meaning I might end up updating later than that. Hey, it takes time to be able to type this much for me, an amateur, so please understand.**

* * *

What strangers can see are silver locks of hair and lavender eyes, but everyone else who knew me would see me as a monster. I wondered why. However, I can never find the answer by just thinking.

I was silently on my way to my room since it is long past my bed time. Having turned seventeen today wasn't really something worth celebrating if no one even wants to be near me. I turned a corner as I walked further into the building. I didn't know that people would still be up at this hour and when my eyes collided with fearful ones…

"It's that guy!" The teenager that was about five feet in my range exclaimed before running into his room. After hearing that kind of declaration, my heart clenched as I saw the others hurry back into their own quarters. Why were they so scared of me?

I bit back a sad sound as my feet went on autopilot, steering me to my room without even looking as to where I was going. I heard so many footsteps accompanied by doors slamming shut as I proceeded further, each sound burning a wound into my chest, making the feeling of rejection corrupt my whole being even more.

As I finally arrived at the doorstep of my room, I entered but did not expect to see someone in there. "Mother Shizuka?" My eyes trailed along the white, long-sleeved night gown she was wearing, her silver-hair tousled up in a neat bun and she was staring at the view outside which my open window had to offer. She turned to me and her eyes just told mine to draw nearer to her, so I did.

"Happy 17th Birthday, Zero." I heard her say, her voice full of gentleness and love. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her, enjoying the warmth that had always emanated from her. Her greeting lifted up the troubles that had stayed inside me. After all, she was the only one who ever treated me as a real person.

"Thank you, Mother Shizuka." I smiled. "Hearing that from you makes me happy."

A momentary silence crept between us for a few moments.

"Umm… why are you in my room anyway?" There, I finally asked. I mean- I was the one who usually pays a visit to her office and often talk to her all day but this time was not a first. She only comes to my room when there were urgent matters to discuss. I just needed to make sure.

"I just wanted to see my 'baby boy'." Baby boy, huh? That was the nickname she kept using on me when I was still so young. She stopped using it on me when I reached the age of thirteen. Well, I think I can guess why she's here. One reason might be because it was my 'becoming of age' and she wanted to renaissance with the 'old' me one last time. Second reason may be that it was a mere whim that she wanted to visit me, especially since it is my birthday. Reason one and reason two had been crossed out ages ago (not really). Then, there's the third reason that I had in mind- someone wanted to adopt me. (That's right, I'm an orphan. I'm sorry that I haven't mentioned it earlier but I didn't want you to get that kind of information about me so soon. Well, now you know.) All I can do now is hope that the third reason isn't really on the list of what's going to happen.

"Mother Shizuka, that's not really the reason isn't it?"

She was silent. I felt my arms loosen around her subconsciously. She showed one of those heart-wrecking, painful smiles that always hurt me in a way.

"You always seem to see right through me don't you, Zero?" She patted my head and pried my arms off her before facing my window once more. "You're right. I'm here for another reason. However…"

I heard her trail off and remain silent for a mere two seconds before facing me with her hands clasped behind her.

"…that can wait tomorrow. I hope to see you in my office 7:00 a.m. sharp."

"Alright then…" So I guess I'll have to wait until the next day, huh? I opened the door for her and bade her good night.

"Happy 17th Birthday, Zero!" She greeted me one last time.

"Haha, aren't you turning 30 soon though Mother Shizuka?" I hope none of you thought that Mother Shizuka was an old lady, because she's not. She still looks like a mere 19 year old who just started her first year of college. But, she's like a mother to me and the only friend I ever had for as long as I remembered.

"Haha, I'm getting pretty old."

"Nah, you're not." I reassured and I heard her laugh.

"Good night, Zero."

"Yeah…" That's when I closed the door and went to bed.

Just a few meters away from my room, Mother Shizuka was walking back to her office when she was suddenly stopped in her tracks by the appearance of a person in the shadows of a hallway turn.

"So you planned to keep him for a little while longer huh, Shizuka?" A deep voice resounded in the barren hallways of the building.

"Have a problem with that, Yagari?"

"I didn't say that I did."

"Well then. You'll just have to wait until tomorrow then." She walked past him, eager to get to her office and retire for the night but then she was stopped in her tracks again.

"We can't keep 'him' waiting Shizuka. I'll need to take him back as soon as possible or else we'll-"

"I know that." She interjected.

"Very well… further discussion will be held tomorrow as you said. Have a good night's rest, Shizuka." Faded footsteps slowly went out of ear shot before the Mother could proceed to her office.

...

"What?" Right now, I was in Mother Shizuka's office staring at the person she had introduced as 'the person who will take you in'. What the hell? I didn't expect to get adopted at such an old age. I mean, would a parent want to adopt a 17 year old son? I doubt that thought.

"This is Toga Yagari. He has already filed the necessary papers in accordance to the adoption." Yep, handsome-looking man with black, some-what curly hair and blue eyes seemed insane enough to adopt a 17 year old as a son.

"Wait a minute. Are you serious? This person is adopting me?" I slammed my hands on top of Mother Shizuka's desk, staring at her in disbelief, hoping that what she just said was something I heard wrong. So the third option that I made up last night WAS true. That made me so sad.

Yes was the simple reply of the now emotionless facial features of Mother Shizuka. Then, the man called Yagari stepped forward and had the guts to even intervene with my conversation with her.

"Your name is Zero…" As if waiting for a continuation to his sentence, Yagari raised a hand to me.

"I don't actually have a last name." In came a blunt reply as I blankly stared at his gloved hand in question and in somewhat disgust. A man acting in this kind of way makes a bad vibe run through my body.

"I'm afraid I haven't been able to give him one ever since he was raised here." Mother Shizuka said. I was thankful that she squeezed herself into the conversation I was having with Yagari.

"That's displeasing to know." Was that a pout I saw? No way. Ugh… how disgusting. A handsome, middle-aged man pouting was something I have never seen before and now it is something I don't ever want to see again!

"Well then…" Mother Shizuka was now clasping her hands and placing her chin on them in a thinking-kind of manner. She almost looked like someone I knew from this TV show. But somehow I forgot the title.

That was a very long morning for me. It sort of hurt me that Mother Shizuka actually agreed to let someone adopt me at such an age. I always thought that, now that I'm older, I won't have to be adopted and stay at her side where I felt like I was the safest person in the world. However, that was not to be. I guess, nothing can actually happen my way huh?

I packed up my stuff and then the next time I knew it, I was sitting in the passenger's seat of Yagari's green Porsche, waving goodbye to Mother.

The ride to my 'new home' went calmly since we don't really talk. I was just staring out the car window, looking at the blurry view of trees, roads, and buildings as we blazed by.

You know that feeling of being in another world during spacing out? That was exactly what I was feeling at the moment. I was thinking back a little while ago when I was still walking down the hallways.

_"__You know what? I heard that scary guy is finally getting adopted!" One teenager said in an audible whisper that I, myself, could actually hear._

_"__Really, thank God." Another said with a relieving sigh that made my being shudder in utter hurt._

_"__I'm glad that he's finally getting out of here! I don't want to be scared for the rest of my life."_

Several other statements were flowing in my head and also… I couldn't forget that Yagari actually accompanied me during that. I thought that he was going to ask as to why people were somehow afraid of me and are happy that I'm going away, but luckily he didn't. Well, maybe he'll bring it up later anyway.

My eyes trailed off somewhere along the gray sky when the car suddenly came to a stop in front of a rundown-looking mansion. I eyed it suspiciously. I kept convincing myself that maybe the car ran out of gas and coincidentally stopped in front of a haunted mansion's gate but sadly, my persuasive side faded away as Comrade got out of the Porsche and told me to get out too.

"Welcome to my manor, Zero." He said almost too cheerfully as we both headed to the manor's doorstep with our luggage in hand. Darn, they were really heavy.

"You have got to be joking. Do you expect me to live in such a rundown-kind of place like this?" I complained to him but of course he didn't even turn his head to me at least since he was unlocking the several locks to the manor's door.

_No response._ Darn, I hate it a little bit when people don't reply to what I say. Well, I experience that every single day of my life in the orphanage. Only Mother Shizuka hears me out. Shrugging the thought off when all the locks finally came off, Yagari and I walked in. I was dumbfounded when I saw the interior design of the manor.

In shades of chocolate brown and red which were complimenting each other, the manor was even more extravagant than the orphanage I have spent my younger and developing years in. The colors were total opposites to the calm and simple vibe of blue and white colored surroundings the orphanage had to offer. The unique and gallant color which resembled the deepest and the shallowest kind made me stare a lot. Wow, it was nothing like the outside appearance.

"You where saying?" I heard and that made me turn my head to where Yagari was.

"What?"

"You said: 'Do you expect me to live in such a rundown-kind of place like this?' didn't you?" Man, I can't believe I forgot that I said that just now.

"Okay, okay, I take it back Mr. Yagari." I replied sarcastically and he just shrugged it off with one of his not-so-disgusting-anymore smiles.

"Just call me Yagari."

"Okay?" Well this is awkward.

...

"Would you mind explaining to me why this house is like an abandoned/haunted building on the outside and a palace on the inside?" Now let's get this straight. I was in the dining area with Yagari, alone, eating noodles. Wait, what? Noodles were never really my freaking thing! Not that I hate them or anything but… you know, it seems rather unusual to eat something unworthy of the place's appearance.

"It was just built that way I guess." Yagari replied.

"You're telling me that you don't even know your own house?" I stared at him in disbelief, pausing myself from placing noodles into my mouth.

"Who said that I owned this place?" Now that was one suspicious reply he gave me. It clearly made one of my veins pop in a little rage.

"Well, you did. You said so when we were like nearing the doorstep." I never doubted my memory alright? I will NEVER doubt my memory, and let me tell you this- My memory is so freaking clear that I might not be able to 'not' remember stuff. Hah, okay you got me. I'm kidding. But really, I never once doubted my memory in any way at all.

"Oh? Is your memory that sharp?" Yagari said as he finished his bowl of the most common-flavored noodles I have ever eaten.

"It's sharper than the sharpest object in the world." I said as I finished my share as well and saying a brief 'Thank you for the food'.

"Well, that sounds like what a kid who's trying to show off to an adult would say." This made my eye brow twitch in annoyance.

"We're getting off topic here." I really did try my best to say that as normal as possible through gritted teeth. Yagari just took my bowl and headed to another room which I guessed was probably the kitchen. I got out of my seat and followed where he went.

"I just said that because I wanted to. But, it's true that I don't actually own this place." What the hell? What kind of reason is that to announce a place as your own even though you know it's not yours to begin with?

"And you're telling me that I sound like a kid? Speak for yourself old man." I was so proud of myself for having thought that kind of a comeback. My arms were crossed across my chest and I was leaning on the doorway of the kitchen with Yagari's back facing me as he did the dishes.

"Well, maybe I am old huh?" He said with a chuckle.

"Of course you would say that. Aren't you like… the same age as Mother Shizuka?" He probably is in his early or late 30's. He looked like it is what I should be thinking. Well, he looks like a 24 year old who just got employed for his first job. Jeez, I don't know if I should call the old-but-young-looking a syndrome or disease. Maybe my eyes are messed up?

"Shizuka? Hmm… I guess I appear younger than I actually am huh?" That statement somehow took my ears' interest.

"How old are you exactly?"

"Should I really tell you?" He asked with a somewhat unsure-kind of look.

"Of course you should."

"Well…" He hesitate for a moment before wiping his hands on a towel located on a random kitchen counter before he turned to face me. I wondered why his look was so serious.

"What?" I feel like something big is about to happen. I can feel it in my gut. I can't say that I never doubted my gut but, I'm having second thoughts right now and I don't know why.

"I'm actually 147 years old." He said with a stern face. Was that supposed to be a joke? I couldn't help but burst out laughing when he said that.

"Good one. That was probably the lamest joke I've ever heard in ages!" I clutched my stomach as I felt the sheer pain of over-dosing laughter. However, I was frozen when I straightened myself and looked at Yagari again. That stern face was still there and it bothered me. "What?"

"Maybe I should really start telling you why you're here." Yagari said, running a hand through his hair. I didn't notice that it damped a bit.

"Isn't that because you 'adopted' me?" That was the main reason wasn't it? I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him. He didn't adopt me for something else right? "You're not some kind of serial killer that adopts older kids and then kill them are you?" It was a ridiculous question but then again, I just wanted to make sure, hoping that I wouldn't get killed on-the-spot then and there.

"Of course I'm not. What made that pop in your head?" Ocean blue eyes were widened a fraction and a tone of disbelief can be heard from his statement. I guess I'm paranoid. He approached me and I stepped back as if I was afraid he might do something to me. "You are here because I'll mentor you."

"Mentor me in what?" Okay I was getting scared but of course I wouldn't say that out loud. There was silence for about a minute and I kept counting the seconds that passed by.

"…in being the next head of the Kiryu."

…

I've read about this 'Kiryu' thing that Yagari was talking about when I was younger. It was from a book that Mother Shizuka had given to me, more like- it was a book that spoke of legendary bloodlines or families who had important roles in this world that had lived for quite some time.

There was one particular part of the book that had my attention called for most, it was beside another family tree that somewhat had a relation to the one I was looking at.

It was about a noble family that lived a normal life. The family's surname was Kiryu, and it was said to be that this family had served the family that protects all of life until due date. Sound a little Cliché, doesn't it?

They were rumored to not have aged and that their legacy still lives on along with a few others. I mean, it was creepy to know that some people don't age because- hell, it means they weren't human.

Now, I was told that I was going to be the next head of the 'Kiryu' by someone I hardly know. Who wouldn't freak out?!

"Zero, don't walk away from me when I'm getting to the point!" I heard Yagari shout as he tried to follow my escaping form. I didn't know where I was going, obviously since I'm in an alien environment to me. However, that wasn't much of the problem here.

"Who would believe you Yagari? Are you sure you aren't a lunatic?" I asked somewhat angrily, not even hindering my pace towards every crook and turn this manor's interior had to give. The said man was still trailing behind me. Damn, I don't think he's going to give up.

"I'm sure I'm not a lunatic, Zero. Now, if you would just listen to what I have to say, maybe you'll understand the situation at hand here." He used a serious tone on me and later did I know that his hand had my left arm in a grip. He caught up to me.

I tried to pry my arm away but he had it in an unbelievably firm grip. My gaze was on the ground. However, it gradually traveled up before my slightly frightened eyes met his. I still couldn't believe that he had such a serious face on until now. It's seriously creeping me out. My freaking gut was telling me that this guy is denying he's a lunatic but actually is one.

"Zero." It was a menacing tone this time. It made me cease my actions in trying to escape his vice-like grip. Our eyes were still linked and I could see the emotion in his change like there was a glint of something I couldn't really put my finger on. Does this mean I have no other choice?

"Fine, make me understand this, Yagari." I sighed, giving up every bit of hope I was holding onto until now. Then, I felt his grip on my arm loosen. Sigh, I think a bruise might show up there soon. I was then pulled by Yagari, obviously caught off guard by the sudden action but I didn't complain. He was leading me back to where we were at last, I think.

My mind was elsewhere as I continued to let my legs work on their own as I was being dragged along the corridors. I wasn't thinking though. My mind was blank for the rest of the walk.

...

"Well then…" Those were the first words I heard from him after having to sit on a couch in the so called 'living room'. Ha, it was too extravagant to be one I say again. My lips were shut as I leaned into the crimson colored furniture. I wanted to get over with it and see if Yagari's explanation proves him to be sane.

"Just spill it." I said, clearly annoyed and he huffed.

"You won't believe me when I told you I'm 147 years old, right?" I nodded in response. "You also won't believe me when I say that you're going to be the next Kiryu, right?" Another nod came from me. "Then what if I showed you that it's real?" My interest was slightly caught by that simple suggestion, even though I have a feeling in my gut that it isn't real.

"Let's see then." I said in a challenging tone. If Yagari is indeed insane, I already have a plan. I would run out of the house, go back to the orphanage, dial Mental Services and ask them to help Yagari. What? I'm not a cold-hearted guy who doesn't care about the people around him despite being called a monster by said people.

"Okay." I watched as he stood up and made his back face me. I saw his stature move to a nearby bookshelf in the room. He scanned the books languidly until he sat his finger tips on the top of a red, hard-covered book. Pulling it out, he happened to drag the cobwebs with it. So does that mean he'll explain to me the situation with an old book? Ha, that thought made me laugh.

"…" I remained silent as I continued to carefully watch each of his movements. My thoughts then were interrupted to the sound of the book slamming onto the small table separating the couch I was on and the one Yagari was currently occupying in.

The man then opened it. To my surprise, the book, which I thought was a book, was actually like a secret compartment for stuff. But, when my eyes trailed off to its contents, I fell agape. There was a necklace inside. It had a green amulet attached to it and I must say that it was a very beautiful gem stone. However, my sense snapped me back to reality. This is supposedly the 'evidence' that Yagari and his so called 'Kiryu' talk is, indeed true.

"What is that supposed to be?" I asked as I started to stare into Yagari, waiting for an answer.

"This was your brother's."

"What?" I convinced myself that I heard wrong.

"It ran in the Kiryu family for centuries and was passed down generation after generation—" I cut him off with my hand raised up.

"I don't have a brother." I stated with a matter-of-fact tone. "I'm an orphan. Orphans don't have families." This was getting more ridiculous by the minute. I am in denial at the moment, trying to convince myself of what I had decided on a long time ago.

"In truth, you do." He pushed on. Ugh, this guy is a stubborn old man.

"I told you, I don't!" I was infuriated right at this moment. I clenched my fists at my sides tightly, gritting my teeth in the process. It hurt, not the pain I was inflicting on myself but the pain of knowing that I might've had a family but was abandoned to fend for myself. Could this get any worse?

He didn't say anything and I had thought that it was my triumph. In all honesty, I don't remember anything about being in a family or even having a brother. (I have already told you that I never doubt my memory.) But, there was still one possibility.

"I guess it's best to let you find out the truth for yourself, huh?" Yagari sighed and that made me jolt. What was he going to do next?

He stood up and was approaching me. I tried to scoot back in order to get more distance between us but it seems that my plan shattered when my back made contact with the sofa.

"Don't come near me." I threatened but to no avail, I knew that it didn't scare him in the slightest. He knew that he was at the advantage.

I flinched when his hand made contact with my head. Huh? I felt something cold suddenly spread against his hand and continued along the rest of my being. It was okay I guess, however that thought changed when a sudden throbbing resounded in my head. It was painful.

"Ugh! What did you do to me?!" I asked in between moans of pain. My eye sight blurred a lot and I could only see inanimate objects before my vision went black.

…

_"__Ugh…" I forgot why I suddenly lost consciousness but I opened my eyes anyway. They felt like they've been closed for a long time when I opened them. I could feel my pupils shrink due to the sudden brightness of the surroundings. Where was I? I was standing in the middle of nowhere. Everything was white, or let's say- blank._

_"__Zero." I heard a gentle voice call my name. Who was this? I turned to where I heard that voice but as expected, I couldn't see anyone in this nothingness. "Zero." I heard it again, this time louder than the previous. Every direction I turned to was white. I couldn't find anything or anyone at all._

_"__Who are you?" I inquired but I received no reply after a few seconds. My eyes kept scanning everywhere. I wasn't afraid, but I was rather curious as to who was calling my name._

_"__Big brother!" It was a woman's voice before and now it was a child's. But, where had I heard it before? It was so familiar. I blinked in thought but when I blinked for a third time, the white surroundings shattered and revealed a cream colored room._

_"…" __I couldn't say anything at all but instead, I stared at the door of that room which suddenly opened and revealed a male which resembled me a lot, to my surprise, but he had shoulder length hair. Who was this person?_

_The male closed the door as he fully let himself in the room. I wondered why he couldn't see me, and that made me realize that maybe this is a dream? Well, maybe I figured that out when I was still in nothingness. I watched as he made his way to a cradle in the room that I just noticed. Was there a baby inside it?_

_"__Good morning." I heard him greet and then there I saw a pair of little arms reaching up to the male. So it really was a baby, huh? I could hear the soft sounds the baby had emitted and I couldn't help but go closer to take a look. What I found was rather astonishing. I could see developing locks of silver hair on the baby, its skin was as white as snow, and the eyes- the eyes were the same as mine- amethyst, or let's say, lavender._

_I stared at it, not knowing whether it was a girl or a boy at the moment, and ginned as I saw a small smile plaster itself on the baby's face. Its cheeks were a light flush of pink and I thought that it was really cute._

_"__Ichiru!" I heard a voice come from the outside of the room, most probably just outside the door. It was the same female voice I heard a few minutes back but… why did she call my name a while ago? Shrugging the thought off, I thought of other things. I guess that what she just shouted was the longer-haired male's name since he turned around and answered a 'yes?' back to her. "Yagari's here!" Yagari? Yagari Toga? Does Yagari know this person?_

_"__Alright mother!" He shouted back and unintentionally making the baby in the cradle start to cry. What an idiot. "Oh my, I'm so sorry!" I saw him panic for a while, thinking on what to do to make the baby, probably little brother (since I took a closer look and realized it was a boy), stop crying._

_Why cry over spilt milk?_

_"__Hush…" I heard him try to shush his little brother and I smirked as I saw how terrible he was at it. That was until he picked the baby up in his arms and started to rock him to sleep. I was amazed that the baby stopped crying and went into slumber after a few minutes._

_Wow. I didn't expect that._

_"__Hah…." I heard him sigh. He planted a soft kiss on the baby's forehead before placing it back into the cradle/crib. What a sweet brother. Ha, I'm sounding sarcastic at the same time._

_"__Sleep well, Zero." My eyes widened until they were bulging. Did he just say my name? Before I could think of anything else as to why Ichiru called my name, the background shattered again and reformed into another scene._

_"__Zero!" I turned to the person who shouted my name but not exactly towards me, but my younger self, I assumed. I saw the male called Ichiru run towards my young self and I still couldn't believe that I was seeing this. Trailing behind the long-haired male were two adults, presumably our parents._

_"__Big brother!" I saw myself wrap my arms around the older sibling with a true smile. I didn't know that I could smile that beautifully when I was younger. I couldn't remember when was the last time I looked at myself in the mirror and see what I looked like when I smile._

_Wow, I was tearing up. I had a big brother. I had a mother and father. Was this a dream? I hope not. I've always wanted a family._

…

"…ro… Zero…" I heard my name being called. I knew that it was Yagari's voice but my eyes felt like they were glued together so I didn't bother to try and open them. I was lying down and I felt softness below me. Was I on a bed?

"Mm…" My closed eyes squinted but never did open and I brought an arm up to sheathe my eyes. "Yagari, what just happened?" Questions were swirling in my head and it felt awkward to be asking questions just after waking up from the dark abyss of a short sleep.

"Did you see anything?" My question was countered with another one. What the heck? However, I nodded to answer his question. "I'm sure that not everything has come back to you yet, but the memories will come back eventually.

"Memories?" I asked. So the people that I saw, the sounds that I heard, were actually real and that it actually happened? Yagari nodded in response. "Memories… so I really did have a family?" He nodded again. "Where are they?" I asked hurriedly. It made me feel fulfillment already when I heard that at least, I had someone care for me when I was still younger so… why can being able to see them make me so excited and happy all the more?

There was silence for a few seconds, and I kept growing more curious and weary about the brunette's response. Come on, just tell me.

"You'll find out soon enough. You'll remember, don't worry." I huffed at his successful attempt to dodge the question with a reason.

"But Comrade, I want to know." I pushed onwards. I had to put all of the pieces of courage that were once scattered around to just say that statement even though I know that my insides were shaking.

I only earned a stern look that was silently telling me that I shouldn't ask him to say anymore. But, being the stubborn 17 year old I have become, I kept pressing the topic.

"Yagari, please tell me." I even had to use the 'P' word. I never had to with anyone else and now, I'm saying it to the male.

"Zero, I told you already-"

"Yagari, do you even know how many years I've been trying to convince myself that I had a family who cared for me somewhere out there?" My voice slightly faltered as I wasn't able to suppress my feelings in saying that sentence. They were mixing in me and I just couldn't contain myself to make my point and reason out with Yagari. "I've been lonely all throughout my childhood. I didn't have a father that was awesome and would beat the crap out of the people who'd bully me. I didn't have a mother who cared for me and who would tuck me into bed, save for Mother Shizuka. I also didn't have a big brother that I could confide in when I couldn't turn to anyone else, a big brother that actually took care of me even though he had a lot of responsibilities as the eldest, and the one who keeps protecting me and hushing me to sleep when I cry." That was the last straw and I was practically crying out the pain I had hidden away for the past years of my life. But then again, why did I end up alone for all these years?

I couldn't hear anything else for a while except for my broken sobs which I didn't know I could make. My eyes were blurred in vision due to the water in it which was constantly trying to fall and actually did. I raised a hand up to wipe those tears away but I stopped half way when I felt a pat on my head. I looked up to meet the gentlest gaze I have ever seen.

"Just wait and see, Zero." He gave me a soft smile which I never knew he could actually give. His eyes softened from that stoic look he usually gave and for once, I gave up. I was really depressed indeed but then again, I'll just do as Yagari said. I'll wait, if it's the last thing I'll have to do

…

I had been bedridden for a few hours. I didn't know why but my body wouldn't move like I wanted it to be. I could hardly feel my legs and all I could do from time to time was turn to the side or lay on my back. It was an uncomfortable situation. Yagari came in to see me once in a while and sometimes even bring me food. He would sit me up and most likely attempt to feed me, which I refused him to do. I have two still functioning hands so I don't really need to be treated so handicapped.

Thankfully, I wasn't totally bored during the few hours when I was in bed. Comrade oh so kindly gave me something to do and that was to read. I don't particularly hate reading, and it was the only thing that would save me from dying of boredom so I just read. I read a book he gave me- the title was _The Puppet in Washington_. I don't think I consider it a book since it has very few pages- about 200 or more. It was quite thin. But, that didn't stop me from reading it anyway. I began reading aloud- out of habit.

"The worst thing that ever happened in my life was when my feelings were played for a fool." Ha, I guessed that it was a typical platonic love story. "I can still remember what happened 3 years ago when I was still in my right mind. I'm currently not stable by the way." Tch. If only this wasn't a fictional story then I would be criticizing it right now.

I continued to read for a few minutes until I had finally ended the 1st chapter of the story. Mainly it was about how the girl, whom I finally know was called Rachel, experienced her first love and would do anything for the guy blah, blah, blah. It was too ordinary for me and I suddenly lost my interest in continuing the story. But since I'm a person who does not let things go unfinished, I had no choice but to read it until the end.

"Ugh. I hope it won't be as boring as I think it will be." I sighed as I felt my head throb again. The headaches still didn't subside and still no more memories had shown yet. I'll just have to keep myself occupied for the mean time.

…

"Zero?" The door creaked open and my dry eyes, due to finally finishing _The Puppet in Washington_, landed on the tall form of Comrade.

"Hm?" I rubbed my sore eyes. I totally regretted saying mean things about the book. (Yes, I consider it a book now.) _The Puppet in Washington_ wasn't just a typical platonic love story at all to my surprise. It was rather sad and tragic. Rachel loved the guy, who was named Mark too much that she would do anything he asks her to. She would even kill for him. Wow, that was never in any book I read so far. (Since I've only read a few due to lack of leisure time and lack of books.)

"Are you feeling any better?" In came the usual question over the past few hours.

"Well, I can feel my legs again. So, I guess I'm fine." I moved my legs as an indication that at least one of my problems was solved.

"That's good to hear." He replied with a relieved sigh. I just stared down at my hands which were holding the book and a few moments had passed in silence. "So, how was the book?" That was a question I was gladly prepared for to answer.

"To be honest, I was actually deciding against reading it at first but then I did and in the end, I loved the story through and through." I didn't realize that I had the book hugged to my chest now. Wow, I guess the story had a big effect on me. I simply stared for any reactions of Yagari and I smirked inwardly when I got at least a smile out of him.

"Is there anything you need at the moment?"

"What time is it Yagari?"I questioned first. I somehow realized a while ago that there was not even a single clock in the bedroom that I was in. Besides, I'm a little confused with the time right now since I don't know whether it's early in the morning, lunch time, or maybe evening. No, I didn't look at the windows for any hints since they were covered completely by opaque curtains. Besides, I was bedridden remember?

"It's half past midnight."

"You're kidding me right?" I laughed a little in disbelief but I immediately quieted down when he shot me a serious look. So, he wasn't kidding me huh? "Okay, can you get me a midnight snack?" As if hearing what I just said, my stomach growled loudly and I laughed at the weird noise despite it coming from me.

"Alright then, I'll return with a snack for you, Zero." Then he left, leaving me in a room, now, full of silence again.

…

I waited for about 5 minutes or so before Yagari came back with a small dish of soup. Wow, I didn't know that soup could be called a 'midnight snack'. I laughed inwardly at the thought of it. I watched him as he placed the bowl on the night stand beside the bed that I was in and crouched down, looking as if he was trying to find something under the bed. My eyes widened a fraction when my gaze was caught by a small table he drew out from underneath. The food that he brought me a while ago didn't need a table to be brought out since it was instant stuff so… guess this is a first?

"Here, I think this'll lessen troubles." He said as I watched him place it on my lap and putting the bowl of soup there with a spoon. I gave him a small thank you and, even if I didn't tell him to, he exited the room.

"I feel like I'm a blue blood..." I muttered to myself. Yagari acted like a butler and I also acted like a royal. The thought fascinated me for a second before my small smile disappeared at the thought about my family that I had but don't know where they are. "...a lonely, blue blood."

I began to drink/eat my soup. I don't really know which verb to use. However, I was slightly amazed of the taste of the soup. Surely it wasn't from a can or a cup like those noodles we ate a while back. I guess this was hand-made by Yagari, huh? "I give my compliments to the chef." I spoke to no one in particular.

I savored each sip and usually my eyes would avert to a different place after I swallowed. It's weird right? I only noticed I was done with my soup when I took a seemingly spoonful and didn't taste anything but metal when I placed it in my mouth. How absent-minded can I get? I sighed as I placed the bowl down on the small table and placed that table on the ground. I was finished with eating, so there was no need for that anymore.

I leaned into my pillow, not lying down but sitting up still. I traced my pale fingers on the slightly withered cover of _The Puppet in Washington_, not really feeling much but slightly non-leveled surfaces. There was nothing to do again. But, the book was being inviting. So, I had no other choice but to reread it. At least, the story kept me interested no matter how many times I kept reading.

Rachel loves Mark but doesn't know that Mark does not love her back but just acts like he has feelings for her. "Mark, you're such a bastard."

Time had assumingly passed as I finished the book for the 5th time. It made my eyes a little sore but it was worth it after all. I just hope that I won't be like Mark in the future. He's lower than the lowest rank of being in the world. I sat _The Puppet in Washington_ down on the table beside my bed (there is no need to worry about the book because it has nothing to do with my life on wards. I know this because this is my life story I'm telling you about here.) and there, I couldn't help but notice the necklace Yagari had shown me a few hours back.

I couldn't keep my hands to myself so I just took it. Only then and there did I really look at the details of the necklace. The stone was an amethyst. The encasement was made of pure gold. It was truly an astonishing design of jewelry, but… what did this have to do with me? I remembered that Yagari said that this was owned by my brother before. Is that some sort of hint? I don't think so.

"Hm. It wouldn't hurt to try it on, right?" I'm not a fan of jewelry but then again, there are times when people tend to be the exact opposite of what they say. I slung the chain over my head and placed the trinket attached to it on my chest. It was a bit heavy. I stared at the gem again and touched its surface, but then I immediately let go of it as another surging ache occurred in my head. Before I knew it, I was unconscious again.

…

_I was again in this bright abyss… 'Where am I?' is what I should be saying but no, words won't come out of my mouth at the moment. All I could do was remain silent, and wait until something will happen in this oblivion. Doesn't this mean more memories of mine are coming back to me?_

_"__Ichiru." No way. Was that Yagari's voice I heard? I turned and as expected, it was still the familiar abyss of nothingness that surrounded me. Well, I waited patiently since I somehow have the feeling that I will see some other things soon._

_"__Oh, Toga, it's nice to see you." Then, I was right. Something really did start to appear. I expected to see my older brother and –somewhat of a younger versioned- Yagari, but then I saw my younger self holding my older brother's hand, standing beside him._

_Pfft. Of course, these are my memories. I wouldn't be able to know these happenings if I didn't see them myself right? How idiotic of me._

_"__Lord Kuran is expecting both our families at their conjoined dinner tonight." Kuran? That name was familiar to me- like I read it somewhere again. I tried to think quickly since the background was starting to shatter again. As I thought, I could still hear the fading voices of my older brother and Yagari talking._

_"__Yes, I've heard. Isn't it to celebrate his son's birthday?" Ichiru asked, picking the younger me up in his arms since I observed how Mini Me kept tugging at his sleeve, silently asking to be carried._

_"__Yes, it's Prince Kaname's 9th birthday." Prince Kaname? Who is that? The background completely shattered after that thought. Another scene had appeared just a few moments after and I could guess that they were at the so called 'celebration' of this Kaname person's 9th birthday._

_"__Wow, it's such a big party!" I heard Mini Me exclaim, grasping my brother's hand tightly. I found myself stuck with them in a small crowd of people inside what seemed a huge assembly hall._

_"Isn't this both your first times here in the royal palace?" I heard Yagari ask. To the present me, yes it was the first time. To the past me, well, Yagari's question was answered when Mini Me and Ichiru nodded their heads._

_"Yeah, it is." Ichiru stared in awe. I can't blame him though. I'm practically doing the same thing right now. __We were at this Kaname person's birthday party right? Hmm… I wonder where the birthday celebrant is._

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, King Haruka and Queen Juri have arrived." Suddenly, someone announced the arrival of what seemed to be a royal pair. I had to stand on my tip toes to see what the King and Queen looked like since the small crowd was hovering around me, squishing me in the middle._

___My lavender eyes trailed from Mini Me on my brother's shoulders, to the thrones at one side of the room. Then and there did I see two brunettes standing in front of the thrones, smiling, and waving at the people who bowed to them. I couldn't help but noticed that they were the most beautiful people I have ever seen._

_"The King and Queen are extravagant as always." I heard Ichiru say once the noise of the crowd had quieted down a bit. It was the first time he'd been to this assembly hall, but he had already seen the King and Queen up close and from afar several times. You know, maybe because he's a Kiryu and all that._

_But, I was yet to uncover what all this was about. What was the relation of these royalties to my family and Yagari? I remember Yagari saying something like 'Lord Kuran is expecting both our families blah, blah, blah.' What the hell does that mean, really?_

_"You're right Ichiru. However, where is the young master?" Yagari wondered, scanning the area for who I guessed was this Kaname person. How do I know who Yagari was searching for? Beats me, I don't know. Hunches are things I get at random times like these._

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, Young Master Kaname has arrived." I heard another announcement and my eyes scanned the area for where the said lad could have been at. It was only a few moments later did my eyes settle on a smaller brunette. It was a boy. __I could see Mini Me, who was on my brother's shoulders, smile brightly at the arrival of the brunette. What I did not expect though was for him to start waving in big strokes to the blue blood._

_"I can't believe he's waving at the Young Master so casually." Yagari sweat dropped at the sight but I could tell that he wasn't going to ruin Mini Me's fun. After all, I was indeed, still a child then, and so was this Kaname person. I even expected for the said brunette boy to wave back at the younger me. But, it was different._

_I saw the brunette's eyes twinkle a little and a small smile was plastered on his face. I'm guessing that I knew this person before? But, why hadn't any memories of him and I appeared to me. Oh wait, my memories were a little scattered I guess. Of course, it had to be that way._

_"He can't help it. They only see each other so seldom that they actually became very good friends in that short time span."_

_"M-hm. I see."_

_The crowd my brother, Mini Me, Yagari, and I were in had cleared out a little, dispersing and granting very much needed space for all of us, finally. _

_I stretched out my arms out and cracked my neck to relax it. I didn't know that being squeezed in by so many people could make me feel rather stiff. After getting a little loosened up from my so called momentary stiffness, I saw Ichiru put Mini Me down before he suddenly sprinted out of the crowd and onto the elevated flooring where the King, Queen, and Kaname was, earning a few smiley faces from the audience at the cute display._

_Wait, how cute the display was? What did that mean? My eyes traveled from the several heads of the people in the huge hall to where my eyes were supposed to be, at Mini Me but when my eyes were finally able to get a small glimpse at the silver and brown haired boys, the background shattered once more._

_"Damn it." I cursed aloud. This sudden transition of scenes can sometimes be a pain in the neck. I mean, where something important finally reveals itself to me, the back ground shatters and you know, it's like it doesn't want me to see it yet. Damn all these secrets in my head! Was my memories erased at some point anyways? I'm still confused damn it._

_I was so busy being confused that I didn't know that I was being dragged out of my subconscious mind and back into the real world._

…

"My head hurts…" I grumbled, rubbing at my aching temple in attempt to ease some of the pain away.

"What did you see this time?"

"Uwaah-!" At the sudden ring of another voice in the room, I got startled and had to clutch my chest to try and calm my hyped heart down after identifying who else was in my room. "Don't scare me like that, Yagari!"

"What's this? A 17 year old, such as yourself, is still scared of just a little spook?"

"Don't start a fight, Yagari." I growled at him, wincing at my own action causing the dull ache in my head to throb a bit.

"Anyways, tell me, what have you seen already?"

"I don't get why I should tell you everything every time I have a freaking flash back." I glared at him, but as usual, he did not even flinch in the slightest. Damn this man was hard to get reactions out of.

"I need to know if you've already seen 'him'." Him? Does Yagari mean my older brother Ichiru?

"If you meant that if I've already seen my older brother then yes. Yes, I have seen him already." I had my eye brows knitted together a bit as I stared into his eyes sternly.

"No, I meant… Young Master." Young Master? Oh, I get it now.

"This… Kaname person was it?" I didn't really direct that question at him to be answered. I nodded. "Yes, I've seen him. However, that was when he and I were still children."

"I see."

There was about 5 minutes of silence between us and only then did I notice that Yagari was sitting on a chair right beside where I was lying down at. Yes, I was slightly paralyzed again. Well, my legs were again immobilized so of course I'd just take it upon myself to stay in this lying position.

"Hey, Yagari?"

"Hmm?"

"Who are you to my older brother?" This was a question that I had forgotten to ask a while ago and finally I remembered to ask this time.

"We were childhood friends." He said flatly and I wasn't surprised at this since I had figured as much.

"You say that you're childhood friends so that means he is somewhere near your age now?" My eyes were starting to narrow when I asked this.

"Yes, he's about… 140 years old, I think."

"What the heck. If you guys were childhood friends and the memory that I have of a younger you means that-" I was cut off when he interrupted me with something that had made me really freeze this time.

"You were about past a century of age," Yagari then laughed out the rest, "is what you thought I'd say, no?"

"Grr! Why you-!" I almost raised my fist at him but lucky for him, my arm didn't really have much strength in it, neither did my other. "Damn it! If only I could move right now, you'd be as good as dead!"

"There is no need to get so feisty, Zero." Yagari gave a smirk, making my blood rush to my head in heated and boiling anger."Besides, isn't there always the possibility of something impossible happening?" He continued.

"Alright, alright, go ahead and explain to me what you just said." I'm giving up. It's better to understand than to get into more unwanted fights and etcetera.

"Heh. You're finally able to react well to situations such as these."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean." I glared at him, instinctively punching at his arm. Woah, my strength's back. Hooray.

"Anyways, I'm saying is that the younger me whom you saw in your flash backs is just another type of appearance for me." Yagari explained, straightening his back a bit and closing his eyes.

"Meaning…" I still didn't understand.

"Meaning, I can change my appearance according to my will."

"You, saying that, doesn't sound convincing." Did he really think that I would believe such a thing?

"But, you are starting to believe in being the next head of the Kiryu." He pointed out with a smirk. "That was because of me granting you the ability to do so."

"Touché." Okay, I admit it. He got me on that one. "But, you had to let me see to make me believe. You should just show me how you do your so called 'shape shifting' so that I can believe you." I countered as he gave me a skeptical look.

"Touché."

There was this awkward silence again after that little "Touché" exchange we had and I, as usual, am the one who would break the deafening quietness.

"So, are you going to make me believe that you can shape shift?" I asked. It would be cool if he would show me. But then again, it might be a bit creepy too.

"No, but I will further explain to you this." He cleared his throat before he continued. "I am a man of the Toga family who has lived for past a century. I've been friends with your brother since his childhood, note the keywords being 'his childhood', and I am now doing him a favor of taking care of you, watching over you, and mentoring you to become the next head."

"So, my brother and I aren't really that old right?" I just want it to be simplified a bit more. I heard him sigh as he ran his fingers through his messy black, slightly curly hair.

"Long story short, yes, you and Ichiru aren't that old. He's about… I don't know, maybe 23? All I remember is that you brothers have a 7 year age difference."

"Then, he's 24 since I'm 17 already."

"Right, you just had your birthday recently, no?" He stood up and stretched.

"How do you know that?" My eyes went slightly wide at the mention of my recent birthday.

"Oh, I have my ways of getting info." He gave a small chuckle.

It was my turn to give him a skeptical look. I just silently lied there, still a bit weakened and what not, and just watched as he did a few twists and turns.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked, finally noticing the suit he was wearing. It wasn't a suit for indoor attire but for business I guess.

"Yes, I'm going out to meet someone. You should start getting up sleepy head. It's 10 o'clock in the morning already."

"10 o'clock already? You've got to be kidding me." I shook my head lightly.

"Anyways, I'll be back before sundown probably. Lunch is in the fridge, just heat it up. Oh and the dining area and kitchen are just adjacent to this room, if you're probably wondering." He took his neck tie which I didn't notice was on the night stand. "Wouldn't want you to get lost now would we?"

"Was that supposed to be a mockery?" I gave him a small glare. Jeez, I've been doing that a lot lately.

"Heh." I heard him chuckle. "I just don't want to get myself into finding a lost kid when I get back."

"Why you-!"

"See you at supper." Then he left, leaving me to be flabbergasted on my own.

It was then a few minutes after he left did realization strike at me. I had forgotten to ask who this Kaname person was to me.

"Damn it." I grumbled.

* * *

**That's the end of the first chapter of "Story of My Life". Phew. This took me a few months to whip up. I hope you guys will stay tuned for the next chapter which I hope will come soon. Inspiration, you better come to me fast.  
**

**P.S. In truth, the original story entitled "Guardian" was by me. I posted it in wattpad on my account and isn't completed yet, but somehow I can't sustain a plot on that one. But, because I decided to make it into a Kaname and Zero fic instead, my head is rushing with ideas. :) Thank God that I made the choice of making it a VK fan fiction.**

**I hope to see you guys review, fave, and follow this story for me to continue it. I kinda like it somehow. :3 xD I love you guys.**


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